


Scars

by kml8990



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 9-1-1 - Freeform, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 02:43:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21487012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kml8990/pseuds/kml8990
Summary: The bombing left Buck with a lot of scars on his leg. Ugly scars that he hates to look at and doesn't want Eddie to see.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 464





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all!
> 
> This is my first time writing in a very long while! So please be kind!
> 
> This has been sitting in my head for a while now, and I cannot believe there are not more fics out there about Buck struggling with the physical scars the bombing left him. 
> 
> Its my first time writing for this fandom. Characters do not belong to me. All the mistakes do though!

Buck’s never been immune to his body. He has always recognized that he has flaws. From the ugly red birthmark that sits over is left eyebrow making everyone assume he’s been in a fist fight at first glance, the numerous acne scars on his face that his teen aged years graced him with, the small scar on his cheek from his father’s ring when Buck got mouthy with him, to the ring of fat at his waistline no amount of exercise could get rid of. He doesn’t understand how Maddie, Athena and Hen can go around making comments about his “pretty face” or his “drool worthy abs” when he has so many visible scars.

He works his body hard in the gym to stay in shape. He has to with the job he has. He likes how the shirt sleeves of his uniform feel snug against his biceps, how he’s thin enough he can squeeze into places that some of the other members of the team cannot when it comes to rescues. He knows he’s not ugly, enough one night stands in his past have assured him of that, but no matter how comfortable he tries to get with his body, the imperfections – his imperfections, always sit at the forefront of his mind. They’re mostly small things though. Things he can force himself to forget about if he tries hard enough. He deems himself lucky that his flaws are so small compared to others in the world, as least he did until the bombing.

When Buck came to after the ladder truck was blown onto its side, crushing his leg underneath it, he didn’t really comprehend what was going on. He knew he was hurt. He knew that blood was stinging his eye from a cut near that ugly birthmark. He knew that there was pressure on his leg and that he was stuck, but he was also surprisingly numb. He couldn’t really follow the conversations happening around him, couldn’t really tell who was speaking throughout the ordeal. The world was fuzzy around the edges, until hands were suddenly on him and the pain in his leg was awoken with a vengeance. He tried to focus on Hen’s voice, on Eddie’s voice as their hands gripped his, but all he could hear were his own screams as the weight of the truck shifted and he was dragged out from underneath it. He doesn’t remember much after that until he wakes up after his first surgery, leg incased in a cast and his sister by his bedside. 

It didn’t really register in his brain at first. That he had had surgery. That surgery meant scars. It wasn’t until they pried the cast off his leg to remove the sutures that he realized he was going to have more scars to add to his collection. He looked down at the angry skin of his leg, skin being held together by hundreds of stitches from his knee to his ankle. He knew that they had basically rebuilt his leg. That they had to put all kinds of metal in there to try to hold the pieces of crushed bone together enough that they might heal; but tears prickled his eyes as he realized he was going to have a gruesome scar running down the length of his lower leg. 

Buck’s recovery didn’t end with one surgery or one scar. There was a second surgery to remove floating bone fragments in his leg, and a third to remove a particularly troublesome screw that was causing more pain than actually helping. By the time Buck was mostly recovered, his left leg was adorned with half a dozen scars to add to all his other flaws. 

He supposed out of all the places to gain a few ugly scars, his leg wasn’t the worst. He could easily cover them by wearing long pants, though he quickly found out that jeans weren’t the best things to wear as the denim rubbed his very sensitive scars raw. He lived in sweatpants as he relearned how to walk without crutches and spent what felt like thousands of hours in physical therapy just to get to a point where he could walk without a limp. Most days he could almost forget about how mangled his leg looked beneath his clothing, only reminded when the need for a shower arose. 

The first time Buck could really fully shower after surgery, he refused to look at his leg as he gently ran a cloth over the tender skin. He avoided looking at his leg for nearly two months, not wanting to see all the damage he could feel. When he finally got up enough courage to look down at the limb, it was almost as if he was looking at someone else’s body. The scars were raised and pink against his pale skin. His leg muscles had atrophied a bit thanks to not being able to move around easily and being in a cast multiple times. He wanted to believe that it wasn’t his leg he was looking at, those weren’t his scars, but they were – and they were horrifically ugly. 

Once he was fully healed and he was back to work, it was easy to push his leg out of his mind. His uniform pants were loose enough that they didn’t irritate the sensitive skin, and thankfully shorts were not a part of the uniform. Out of sight, out of mind. It was like the accident never happened, except for the fact that his leg would randomly ache at times and the 118 were constantly hovering over him on calls. If there was anything good that came out of the accident, it was the closeness that developed between Eddie and Buck. The two had been skirting around each other and their feelings for months. Buck almost dying seemed to snap Eddie out of his denial and admit that maybe he felt more for Buck than a friend should.

It was Eddie’s hand Buck clutched as he woke up from each surgery. Eddie’s lips on his forehead that soothed some of the pain during the worst moments. Eddie’s warm eyes and encouraging smile that kept Buck pushing forward in physical therapy when all he wanted was to give up. If it wasn’t for Eddie, Buck wasn‘t sure he’d be back to work at all. Their relationship had developed slowly, but Buck was thankful for that. He wasn’t in an emotional state to be rushing into anything anyway. Eddie was as patient as a saint, content to hold Buck through his struggles and never push him into anything. However, relationships can only stay innocent for so long.

That is how Buck finds himself sprawled on his back in the middle of Eddie’s bed on their day off. Eddie is on top of him, their bodies pressed together snuggly as they kiss slowly, savoring each other and the moment. Eddie’s lips move down Buck’s jaw to his neck, suckling gently behind Buck’s ear. At some point they both lost their shirts, and Buck was too busy enjoying Eddie’s lips to realize where Eddie’s hand was going until he felt a tug on the drawstring of his pants. Anxiety instantly gripped Buck’s chest, his breath coming out in gasps for an entirely different reason now. He sat up quickly, pushing Eddie back. The older man sat back on his heels, his hair mussed and a concerned frown in his face.

“Buck…. Evan, you okay?” Buck squeezed his eyes shut, feeling Eddie’s hand rest on his leg…the same leg that was causing Buck all this anxiety. “Ev, talk to me,” Eddie pleaded, worry lacing his voice.

“Sorry…. I’m okay,” Buck tried to reassure his partner, though his ragged breathing and still closed eyes betrayed him.

“No you’re not,” Eddie argued, “Talk to me Evan. Did I hurt you?”

Buck’s eyes flew open at Eddie’s question, seeing fear and worry reflected back at him in the brown of Eddie’s eyes. “Of course not!” Buck firmly reassured, his hand reaching out to cup Eddie’s check. “You could never hurt me.”

“Then what’s wrong.”

Buck’s hand dropped from Eddie’s face to his lap, picking at a loose thread poking out of the seam of his track pants, his eyes not meeting Eddie’s. “I don’t want you to see it,” Buck admitted after a quiet moment, his voice soft so Eddie had to strain to hear. 

“What are you talking about?” The confusion Eddie was feeling bled out into his voice.

“My leg. I don’t want you to see it.”

“Why? Is something wrong? Do we need to go to the hospital?” The panic in Eddie’s voice finally made Buck look up.

“No! No, nothing like that!” Buck quickly reassured, reaching out for his boyfriend and lacing their fingers together. He saw Eddie visibly deflate. “It’s just…all the scars. It’s not exactly the sexiest part of my body.” Buck tried to laugh it off, his eyes refusing to meet Eddie’s. 

“Are you kidding me?” Eddie’s exclamation had Buck looking up. “It’s one of the sexiest things about you.” Buck scoffed, looking away again. Eddie shifted, a hand reaching out to lift Buck’s chin so his blue eyes could lock with Eddie’s brown ones. “I’m serious Ev. You might think of those scars as ugly, but I don’t. They show how much you’ve been through. You were crushed by a fire truck and you came out on top. Was it a long, hard road? Of course. Did you want to give up along the way? No one would blame you. It was a critical and painful injury, but you fought it. You worked so hard to get here, baby, and that makes all of those scars beautiful. They tell your story, Evan. A story you should be proud of, not ashamed of.”

Buck could feel the tears leaking out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe how lucky he had gotten to have a man like Eddie stand by him through the last few difficult months. “You might not feel that way once you see them.”

“No part of you is ugly,” Eddie reaches out and used his thumb to wipe away the tears on Buck’s cheeks. He kissed Buck softly, his hand gently moving back to Buck’s waistband. “May I?” 

Eddie waited for Buck’s hesitant nod before working the drawstring open. Eddie scooted back on the bed, Buck lifting his hips as Eddie pulled the track pants from his body, his heart in his throat as he waited for Eddie’s reaction. Eddie’s gaze didn’t lock onto Buck’s leg right away, instead focusing on throwing Buck’s pants to the side before riding himself of his own. Only When they were both left in nothing but their boxer briefs did Eddie’s eyes find the one part of his body that Buck hated the most. 

Buck squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking out of the corners as he felt Eddie’s fingertips running gently down the sensitive, uneven flesh. It wasn’t until the fingertips were replaced with Eddie’s soft lips did Buck dare to look down. Eddie placed gentle feather light kisses across the jagged scars of Buck’s leg, kissing all the way down the long one that went from his knee to his ankle slowly. Buck’s breath hitched when Eddie looked up, a small smile on his face. 

“You may not like these scars, but they remind me every day what you fought through to be here with me today. To me they’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

Buck surged upright, his hands gripping the sides of Eddie’s face and pulling the man into a long, slow, passionate kiss, trying to convey all the emotions he was feeling. “I love you,” Buck whispered as he rested his forehead against Eddie’s.

“I love you too,” Eddie replied softly before pushing Buck back against the sheets and kissing down the man’s chest. 

Buck’s breath came in desperate gasps for a more pleasant reason now, as Eddie stopped his trail of kisses at the band of Buck’s briefs. They were a flurry of limbs and frantic kisses as they both rid themselves of the last pieces of clothing separating them. Their newly naked bodies rocked against each other, sending sparks of heat through their cores. Buck planted his feet flat on the bed, his knees bracketing Eddie’s hips as the man continued to kiss him while fumbling for the bedside drawer. Their hard erections bumped against each other as Eddie finally managed to grab a condom and a bottle of lube from the drawer and place it in the bed beside them. The older man sat up straight, breaking the kiss and pulling a pathetic whine out of his partner. Eddie’s right hand slid down the scarred skin of Buck’s leg as they locked eyes once again. 

“You good?” Buck nodded frantically in answer, making Eddie grin as he flipped open the cap of the lube and coated his fingers. 

Buck was grateful for the distraction of Eddie’s eager kisses as the first finger breached his entrance. It had been a long while since he had been with anyone, let alone on the receiving end. Eddie worked him open slowly, placing kisses all over Buck’s face and down his chest. As Eddie scissored him open with three fingers, Buck’s desperation became too much.

“Please Eddie. Now,” he pushed at the other man’s shoulder. 

Eddie pulled his fingers out, making quick work of the condom and adding extra lube. “You sure?” Eddie asked quietly, his eyes searching Buck’s for any sign of discomfort. Buck nodded fervently, swallowing hard as Eddie lifted his bad leg into his shoulder, placing a kiss to the side of Buck’s knee before guiding himself to the blue-eyed man’s entrance.

Buck’s eyes fluttered closed as the initial stretch as Eddie pushed in slowly. Buck wrapped his good leg around Eddie’s waist while Eddie kept hold of his injured one, knowing that it wouldn’t be able to comfortably bend around his waist for a decent period of time. At Buck’s nod Eddie picked up a rhythm, slowly pulling out before slamming back in with a gentle force. 

Their bodies moved together, both lost in the pleasure of one another, the bed squeaked annoyingly underneath them. As Buck felt himself getting closer to his release, he reached a hand between them to jerk himself off in time with Eddie’s thrusts. Eddie’s right hand clenched at Buck’s thigh while his left planted itself in the center of Buck’s chest for leverage as he picked up the speed of his thrusts, chasing his own orgasm. Their eyes met, and the love and adoration that shown through Eddie’s was enough to send Buck into his climax, his cum coating his chest and fist. Eddie’s hips stuttered as Buck clenched around him, before thrusting into him twice and stilling, his orgasm knocking the breath out of him.

Eddie gently let Buck’s leg fall from his shoulder before pulling out. He made quick work of tying off the condom and tossing it into the wastebasket before collapsing on the bed beside Buck and pulling the younger man against him. Buck protested weakly, blindly reaching out for the box of tissues on the nightstand and quickly wiping himself off before snuggling in against Eddie. Buck smiled, his eyes falling closed as Eddie kissed his forehead and ran his hand up and down what get could reach of Buck’s injured leg in a soothing manner. 

“We all have scars Ev,” he felt Eddie whisper against his forehead, “and yours are just as beautiful as every other part of you, including your soul.”

Buck felt tears prickle his eyes and placed a kiss to Eddie’s sweaty chest. He might hate his scars, but with Eddie’s help, maybe he could learn to love them.


End file.
